


have to let go (until you come back to me)

by lunasenzanotte



Category: Tennis RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Angst, Angst and Feels, Arranged Marriage, Bad Matchmaking, Character Death, Dystopia, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Forbidden Love, Friendship, M/M, Matchmaking, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:34:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22426399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunasenzanotte/pseuds/lunasenzanotte
Summary: In a dystopian society, people are matched according to their zodiac sign. The Community have decided what signs are best compatible, and only those signs are allowed to marry.Sascha is a Taurus, who one day meets Dominic and falls in love immediately… except that Dominic is a Virgo, and Taurus and Virgo are not compatible signs.
Relationships: Alex de Minaur/Jamie Murray, Andrey Rublev/Denis Shapovalov, Dominic Thiem & Karen Khachanov, Dominic Thiem/Alexander Zverev, Karen Khachanov/Daniil Medvedev, Nick Kyrgios/Alexei Popyrin, Roger Federer/Rafael Nadal, Stefanos Tsitsipas/Alexander Zverev
Comments: 48
Kudos: 72





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Some of the pairings don't make sense for obvious reasons. Don't come at me, come at the Community.
> 
> I'll be adding possible warnings as I go, so keep your eye on the tags, please.

The train is almost empty when Sascha gets on. Only two girls, apparently fellow students, are sitting at the window in the rear, discussing something in a book they’ve laid out on the small window table. In the corner of the carriage, a boy is looking out of the window, absent-mindedly playing with the Aquarius pendant hanging around his neck.

Sascha hands the conductor his ticket and then reaches for his tablet. The Daily app reminds him that he hasn’t read his horoscope yet, and he clicks on the cartoon picture of Taurus, just because the program won’t let him use anything else unless he does.

_“Change doesn’t always come easily to you, but there is unrelenting pressure now to move you away from a current situation. Don’t waste your energy wondering where this moment will lead. Adaptability is essential for your growth.”_

Sascha scoffs at the vague message and closes the app, switching to messages instead. He texts Roger to let him know he’s on the way, then opens the message from Mischa.

_\- Guess what, kiddo? Papa finally got your match approved._

Sascha blinks. There’s evidently something he should know, but no one’s bothered to tell him.

_\- My match??? I didn’t know I had a match!!!_

The matching period hasn’t started yet, as far as Sascha knows. Not that knowing the date is important, since the authorities simply choose from the pool of eligible candidates of the compatible sign, and he has no say in it. Sascha supposed he would simply be matched with an eligible Leo, but apparently, his parents picked someone and asked the authorities to approve the match. And succeeded.

_\- Shit. I probably spoiled something._

Sascha can practically see his older brother’s guilty face.

_\- You kidding me??? When did papa want to tell me??? Did he at least tell Roger?_

_\- I suppose. Sasch, I’m sorry, I thought you knew._

_\- Who is it?_

Sascha deletes the message twice before finally sending it. He wants to know, and then not. He will not see the guy until the Meeting Ceremony anyway.

_\- I don’t know him. Papa arranged it with his father. They know each other from work._

Sascha sighs. He knows that marrying someone his parents know and trust is probably better than getting a random match, but he still feels betrayed. They didn’t tell him they were doing it.

His finger hovers over Roger’s name, but then he decides not to text him. If Roger knew about it, then he had a reason not to tell him.

He texts his friend Andrey instead.

_\- Hey, you’re getting matched or your parents are arranging it?_

The response comes immediately.

_\- Matched. Why?_

_\- Apparently I have an arranged match._

_\- That’s good, isn’t it?_

Sascha sighs again. It probably is great, but somehow it makes him angry.

He almost misses his station, running out of the carriage at the last moment, the tablet still in hand. He looks at the opposite side of the rail. There are people standing on the bus stop there, meaning the bus hasn’t come yet. Suddenly, Sascha doesn’t even feel like going home. He wishes he could board a train that would take him far away from all of this.

He looks at his tablet again. There’s no message from his father. Unless he knows Mischa has already leaked the news to him, he’s not willing to share the information with him. He switches off the tablet and starts towards the rail.

Suddenly, someone grabs him from behind and pulls him back so hard he falls.

When he lifts his head, there’s a fast, silver smudge in the corner of his eye, and he realizes that it’s a train passing him by at a high speed.

A train he’s almost walked right under.

He turns his head to the side and looks at the person who has just saved his life. It’s a boy about his age, looking at him with wide blue eyes, still holding onto the fabric of Sascha’s jacket.

“Are you mad?” the boy asks, breathing erratically, like he had been running.

“I…” Sascha says and feels his heart beating madly in his chest.

“Please tell me you didn’t want to do it,” the boy says, finally letting go of Sascha.

“Like… no! No, I was… I wasn’t looking…” Sascha blurts out, realizing the boy probably thought he was trying to jump under the train intentionally.

“Shit,” the boy says and runs a hand through his wavy hair. “Are you okay?”

“I… think so.” Truth is that his leg hurts a little, because he fell on it kind of awkwardly. Everything about this is awkward. They must look like idiots, sprawled on the platform practically on top of each other.

“You’re shaking,” the boy says.

_Well, I almost died_ , Sascha thinks.

“I’m… I’ll be fine,” he says. “Thank you. I mean… you saved my life.”

“You’re welcome,” the boy says. “Don’t do it ever again. I’m probably traumatized for life anyway.”

He gets up from the cold concrete of the platform, holding out his hands for Sascha. Sascha holds onto him, letting him pull him up. The boy lets go of one of his hands, but not the other.

“I’m Dominic, by the way,” he says.

“Sascha,” Sascha says.

He checks his tablet, which miraculously survived the whole incident, and slips it inside his backpack. His jeans are torn at the knee now, and there’s already a bloody stain.

“Where can I walk you?” Dominic says.

“I can walk all right,” Sascha objects.

“You’re limping, and bleeding, and shaking, and I’m not going to risk you getting run over by a car or a bus now,” Dominic says. “So?”

“Well, I… to my friend’s house,” Sascha says. “He’s in med school.”

He doesn’t even think about it, it’s simply the first thing on his mind. He doesn’t feel like going home just yet. The thought that he would have to explain to Roger how he almost died while Roger didn’t think it important to tell him that they were arranging a match for him is positively scaring him.

“Okay,” Dominic says and grabs his arm.

Sascha wants to tell him that he’s still able to walk on his own, because he’s not some elderly lady, but after a few steps he realizes that his legs are indeed still wobbly and his knee hurts, and it also feels… nice… to walk like this. Safe.

“I have to take the bus,” he says.

“Oh. The bus that’s just left?” Dominic asks.

Sascha looks towards the bus stop. It is indeed empty now. _Damn._

“Let’s go have coffee or something,” Dominic offers. “There’s a café just outside the station.”

Sascha nods and follows him. He always goes straight to the bus stop and home, he doesn’t even know what lies on the other side of the station.

The waitress shoots an awkward look at his bleeding knee when they walk in.

“What can I get you?” she asks.

“A latte, please,” Dominic says.

“Um… an americano,” Sascha says. He doesn’t really care, as long as it’s hot.

The waitress nods and walks away. Sascha quickly texts Roger that he missed the bus and will be home later.

“So what do you do, other than jumping under trains?” Dominic asks when the waitress brings them their order.

“I study economy,” Sascha says. “But I hate it.”

“Really? Why?”

Sascha shrugs. “I don’t know. My parents wanted me to study economy, but… I’m not really into it. I hate numbers.”

“Oh. Well, that sucks… I suppose there’s a lot of numbers,” Dominic says.

“What do you do?”

“Ecology,” Dominic says. “You know, environmental protection and stuff.”

“And you like it?”

“Yes,” Dominic says. “I mean, it kind of has two sides to it. On one hand, it’s amazing that I’ll be able to do something, you know, to help the planet. But then also, when you learn about it… it’s sad. Because when you understand it… you really see it for what it is, and that it might be too late.”

Sascha stares at him. He doesn’t remember himself ever talking about his school like that. He doesn’t remember even thinking about it like that. All he’s ever known was that he didn’t like it and wasn’t particularly good at it.

“If you weren’t doing economy, what would you choose?”

“Choose?” Sascha repeats. He probably doesn’t know anyone who chose their school. His parents told him economy would be best for him, when he would start to work in the family business. Mischa studied management, because he was supposed to manage the company one day. Andrey’s parents want him to become a doctor, because they think it is the best way he can serve the society.

“Yeah. If you could do anything.”

Sascha sips on his coffee. “I… don’t know… I like animals.”

Dominic smiles. “So you could be a vet. Or a zookeeper.”

Sascha laughs. _How cool would that be?_

“Thinking about it, sports management would be also cool. I like sports, so… I wouldn’t even mind the economy part of it.”

“What sports do you like?” Dominic asks.

Sascha realizes how difficult this is. He’s not used to talking about himself, and especially, not about the things he likes. No one ever asks him what he likes. What he wants. It’s all about what he has to do, what he can’t do, what he should be.

“Football,” he says, thinking back to the time he actually had enough free time to do sports. “And basketball. I sometimes still play, in the park, on Sundays.”

“I like football, too,” Dominic says. “Don’t know much about basketball. I don’t even have the, you know, height.”

Sascha laughs. “You’re not that short. My friend is about the same height as you and he can still kick my ass.”

“Fine, you can teach me one day,” Dominic says.

Sascha nods, then he looks at his watch.

“I think… my bus is coming in five minutes,” Sascha says.

“Oh, okay,” Dominic says and pulls out his wallet.

“No, I’ll take it,” Sascha says. “You saved my life after all.”

“Oh, so your life is worth one coffee?” Dominic grins.

“Of course not,” Sascha says. “You probably own my soul now, but I’m not sure you’d want it.”

“Maybe I would,” Dominic shrugs.

They walk out of the café and enter the station again. When they have to cross the rail, Sascha’s heart starts beating faster and his knees get a bit weaker, but Dominic is holding his arm firmly.

“You don’t need to take the bus with me,” Sascha says. “If you’re not going that way…”

“Oh, I can go that way. I need to change the line anyway, so it doesn’t matter where I change,” Dominic says. “At least I’ll know where to go for a basketball lesson.”

They get on the bus and find a free double seat in the back. Sascha checks his knee again. It’s probably stopped bleeding, but a band aid definitely won’t suffice.

“You’d really want to?” he asks Dominic. “I mean, see me again?”

“Yeah,” Dominic grins. “You think you traumatized me too much?”

“No, I…” _I’ve always thought I wasn’t a likable person._ “So you’ll come on Sunday?”

“If you want me to…” Dominic shrugs.

“Yes,” Sascha nods a bit too eagerly. He knows that he’s just met Dominic, but he’s felt too lonely lately. Everyone’s been busy with their exams, and also the matching period was approaching, with only a few weeks until the Meeting Ceremony. “Maybe my leg is not going to be good enough for basketball, but… I’ll… give you my message code?”

“Okay,” Dominic says and pulls out his tablet. He punches in Sascha’s message code and sends him a message containing a smiley face.

“On Sunday, then,” Sascha says and gets up as they are approaching his stop.

“See you. Keep away from trains,” Dominic says.

Sascha waves at him and gets off the bus.

~ ~ ~

“What the hell were you doing?” Andrey asks while pouring peroxide on Sascha’s scraped knee.

“I… ow, be gentle, what are they even teaching you at that school?” Sascha hisses when Andrey dabs at the wound with gauze.

Andrey rolls his eyes. “Don’t be a baby,” he says. “Besides, if you want gentle, find a nurse, not a doctor. So, what happened?”

“I almost got run over by a train.”

Andrey gives him a skeptical look.

“Someone pulled me back at the last moment, and I fell, and this happened.”

“I see,” Andrey says, wrapping a bandage around his leg. “And why mustn’t Roger know?”

“I don’t have to tell him everything,” Sascha says. “He’s also not telling me everything.”

“Is this about that arranged match?” Andrey asks. “Why does it bother you so much?”

“Because they didn’t tell me. My parents, well, I’m used to that. But Roger?”

Andrey sighs and goes to wash his hands in the sink. “Apparently someone did tell you, because you know.”

“Yeah, but that’s just because Mischa is a terrible tell-tale,” Sascha says. “How would you feel if you found out that your parents arranged a match for you behind your back?”

“Better than going to the Meeting Ceremony without knowing who I’ll get,” Andrey says.

“I don’t know who it is either,” Sascha objects, but he gets Andrey’s point. If he manages to find out at least something about his match, even as little as a name, he will be better off than all those who will see their future partner for the first time at the Ceremony, on a stage, in front of other people. If something makes Andrey nervous, it has to be a horrible thing, and he’s heard that the Ceremony _was_ a horrible thing. The most embarrassing in some people’s lives, at least.

“Well, that’s as good as it gets,” Andrey says, pinning the bandage in place. “I think you’ll live. Maybe you won’t even lose the leg.”

“Thank you for the reassurance, doctor Rublev,” Sascha sighs. “They teach you this humor as well?”

“They should teach _you_ some humor. Because you just keep whining about everything. Especially things you can’t change.” Andrey throws Sascha’s jeans at him. “Go home, before Roger raises hell.”

~ ~ ~

Before he walks in, Sascha takes off his backpack and holds it to his side, so that it covers his torn jeans.

“How many buses did you miss?” Roger asks.

“One. I went to Andrey for a while then,” Sascha says.

He knows it’s a safe answer. Roger and Stan, Andrey’s sign parent, know each other. Stan is an Aries, Libra’s compatible sign. He’s supposed to prepare Andrey for his matching, same as Roger, a Leo, is supposed to prepare Sascha for it. They often complain about their wards, just like teachers would complain about problematic students. Although in Sascha’s opinion, Roger has many more reasons to complain.

“Okay. How did the exam go?”

Sascha takes a deep breath. He wants to scream. “I’ll find out when they bother to correct it,” he says and heads to his room.

“Dinner will be ready in five minutes!” Roger calls after him.

Sascha closes the door. He throws his backpack on the bed and changes from the dirty, torn clothes into clean ones. He hides the torn jeans at the bottom of the wardrobe. He will get rid of it later.

When he comes down, the table is set. Roger is actually not the type to order food like some other sign parents. Some don’t take their parenting to that level. Stan has all the deliveries on speed dial, but Roger cooks almost every day.

Sascha pokes his fork in the pasta a few times before his composure finally fails him.

“When were you planning to tell me?” he asks.

Roger puts down the fork. “Did you talk to your parents?” he asks.

“No, they are just like you, they probably think I don’t need to know anything,” Sascha snaps. “Mischa told me.”

Roger sighs. “I was telling them you should know,” he says. “They insisted that they would tell you after the match was approved.”

“They didn’t.”

“Maybe they wanted to do so personally.”

“Nonsense,” Sascha says. “I’m not going to see them until the Meeting Ceremony. Did they want to tell me, like, five minutes before the matching?”

Roger looks at him somewhat guiltily. “Would you rather be matched by the Community?”

“I don’t know,” Sascha mumbles. “I mean, Andrey says it’s better this way. Knowing at least something. Point is, I don’t know anything.”

Roger sighs again. “There’s not much that I know,” he says. “But I guess that now, it won’t hurt anyone if I tell you.”

“Fine,” Sascha says, his heart beating faster. Suddenly, he’s not that sure that he wants to know. “What’s his name?”

“Stefanos,” Roger says. “The surname… I’m not sure if I remember it correctly. It’s Greek.”

“Stefanos,” Sascha repeats. “Anything else?”

“He’s a bit younger than you. He studies something like… filmography? Something to do with movie or theater, I think. He’s a typical Leo in that aspect. He likes football and basketball, same as you.” Roger smiles at the last sentence, like it’s supposed to make Sascha like this Stefanos immediately. “He’s got three siblings. That’s about all I know.”

“Have you seen him?” Sascha asks.

“No,” Roger says resolutely. “You know it’s not allowed until the Meeting Ceremony.”

“Papa probably did anyways. If he arranged it,” Sascha says with bitterness. “What is it about anyway? Business? Money?”

“You’ll have to ask your father,” Roger says and picks up his plate. “All I know is that getting an arranged match is always better than letting the Community do it. As you said, your father probably saw him. His family are people your parents trust. That’s better than a match based only on common traits.”

Sascha pushes his plate away. “Go have a chat with Andrey,” he mutters. “You two will have a great time.”

He bangs the door to his room behind him and grabs his tablet. No message from his father, as expected. There is a message from Dominic, though.

_\- How’s your leg?_

Sascha smiles.

_\- Seems like I will live. Thanks to you._

Dominic sends him a smiley face. Sascha puts the tablet next to him and lies back, staring at the ceiling. The knowledge that there is someone who he is supposed to spend the rest of his life with, somewhere, breathing, maybe thinking about him as well, is strange. It’s even stranger that he knows him by name now.

He wishes he’d never asked.


	2. Two

Sascha is waiting at the bus stop. He feels more nervous than he’s ever felt before an exam, for some reason. It’s not like he doesn’t have friends. But this feels different.

Dominic jumps down the stairs of the bus and smiles. He’s dressed more leisurely than on the day Sascha met him.

“Hi,” he says.

“Hi,” Sascha says.

It’s so awkward he wants to cry.

“You’re not limping anymore,” Dominic notes when they start walking towards the park.

“No, it’s quite fine now. It was just badly scraped and bruised,” Sascha says. “I’d keep the basketball lesson for next time, though, if you don’t mind.”

The park is the only place there is to have fun. The Community believes that unmatched people shouldn’t be too distracted or tempted. In a way, unmatched people are viewed as children that need to be protected from the big world they couldn’t survive in alone.

Some boys are kicking a ball around on the grass, and a group of girls are sitting around one of the cement tables under the trees, the favorite place for studying or gossiping.

“This is nice,” Dominic says. “We don’t have this in my town.”

“You don’t?”

“No. We have a concrete jungle they call entertainment zone,” Dominic makes a face. “The best thing there is a skatepark, and I can’t even skateboard. You even have a river, that’s so unfair!”

Sascha just smiles. He’s not impressed by the park at all. In his opinion, they have all outgrown it already. It was fun to play basketball on the little court when they were fifteen, even when they were seventeen and could stay after dark and play under the artificial lights, but it’s all lost its appeal now.

“You had breakfast?” Sascha asks. “We could get some snacks from the stand over there, and have a little picnic by the river. If you’re so fascinated by it.”

“Fine,” Dominic grins.

They end up buying a bunch of junk food, because the stand doesn’t sell anything else. It’s just another reminder that they are no longer teenagers, but the Community still views them as such.

They walk down the stone-set stairs that lead to the river bank. The river isn’t too wild here, so they can swim here in summer. Now the bank is empty, save for a lady walking her dog here, throwing a ball into the river for the dog. The dog happily jumps in the water every time, grabbing the ball and then shaking off the water. They both watch the show for a while.

Sascha doesn’t remember such a lazy Sunday. Lately, he’s been studying for exams or working on the paperwork for his thesis. And when it seemed like he would have some free time, Roger found some visit or errand that required Sascha’s presence.

A herd of swans comes near them, and Dominic reaches in his backpack, pulling out a bag of oats and throwing a handful to the swans.

“Do you just carry that around?” Sascha asks.

“Just in case,” Dominic smiles, pouring some oats in Sascha’s hand. “I like feeding birds, but I hate when people throw them bread. It’s bad for them. Oats are safe.”

Sascha just laughs and throws the oats in the water.

“Swans have great memory, did you know that? They remember who’s been kind to them, or not,” Dominic says.

“Oh. So you’re doing this to be safe,” Sascha grins.

“Yes. And now I’m keeping you safe, too.”

“As always, right?”

Dominic looks at him and smiles. Next thing Sascha knows, Dominic’s fingers are tangled in his hair, and he’s pulling him closer.

Sascha closes his eyes before their lips meet. The first kiss is light, Dominic’s lips barely brush against his. The second is quick, like Dominic wants to get a taste. And then the third comes with such force that Sascha’s hands instinctively try to hold onto something.

When he opens his eyes, Dominic is looking at him like Sascha is the eight wonder of the world, and he knows that no one’s ever looked at him this way, and no one else ever will.

That’s when it hits him.

Sascha’s hand slides down Dominic’s neck and then past the collar of his shirt. With shaking fingers, he pulls out Dominic’s pendant. And his heart shatters into million little pieces.

Dominic is a Virgo.

~ ~ ~

Sascha runs inside the house like something is chasing him. He vaguely remembers that he ran away, leaving Dominic on the bank, all confused. He just didn’t know what else to do.

He almost bumps into Roger, who is holding something in his hand.

“Look,” he says and holds the thing up. It’s a clothes bag.

“What’s that?” Sascha asks.

“For your Meeting Ceremony,” Roger smiles. “You have to look your best.”

Sascha rips the bag out of his hand and throws it on the floor, then turns on his heels and runs up the stairs.

“Sascha? Sascha!”

Sascha bangs the door behind him, jumps onto the bed and throws a pillow over his head, sobbing loudly. He completely overhears Roger, realizing his presence only when the mattress dips under his weight.

“Sascha, what happened?” he asks, his hand resting on Sascha’s side.

Sascha emerges from underneath the pillow and looks at him.

“You’re going to be mad at me,” he whispers.

Roger folds his arms. “Maybe. I still want to know.”

Sascha sits up. “I… met someone,” he says. “A boy. And… I… I think I love him.”

Roger looks like he wants to scream, or cry, or hit something, or all at once. “He’s not your compatible sign, is he?” he asks quietly.

Sascha shakes his head. “He’s a Virgo.”

There is silence between them for a while.

“Well, there are no rules that say you can’t be with someone who’s not your compatible sign before the Meeting Ceremony, but after that… it’s illegal,” Roger says then. “If you want to be with him for now, there’s nothing…”

“But Dominic isn’t just some kind of a fling!” Sascha yells.

Roger shakes his head exasperatedly. “What do you want me to tell you?” he sighs. “You’re not stupid, Sascha. You know it’s impossible.”

“I know,” Sascha whispers. “But… it’s hard to think of the Meeting Ceremony now that I… practically hate my match.”

“You have to marry a Leo. Whether you have an arranged match or not, it doesn’t change anything. You would always get matched with a Leo,” Roger says. “It’s not Stefanos’ fault.”

“I know.”

Roger looks at him. “You and that… Dominic… you haven’t… you know…”

“Roger!” Sascha whines. “Not this kind of talk, please! You promised we would never have this talk!”

“Sorry, sorry,” Roger smiles.

“We kissed,” Sascha says, pulling on the hem of the bed cover. “And then I… saw his pendant.”

Roger sighs and leans over the headboard. “How did you meet him?”

Sascha rubs his eyes. “He saved my life, literally,” he says. “I was so mad at papa when Mischa texted me about the match, and I almost walked under a train.”

Roger’s eyes go wide.

“Dominic pulled me back. I was… we were both really shook, and I also missed my bus. So we went to have coffee and then, he walked me back to the station, because I hurt my knee when I fell…”

“So that’s why you went to Andrey,” Roger states.

“I didn’t want to tell you, because I was mad at you. I was mad at everyone. I’m still mad at everyone.”

“I understand,” Roger says softly. “I wish I could help you. I really do. But…”

“The stars align the way they see fit,” Sascha finishes with the old proverb.

He’s mad at the stars, too.

~ ~ ~

When Sascha wakes up, it’s getting dark outside. He doesn’t feel rested at all, and his eyes burn like someone threw sand in them. He realizes that he must have cried himself to sleep.

He reaches for his tablet. He has at least ten messages from Dominic. All of them say about the same thing. _What happened? What did I do wrong?_

Sascha takes a deep breath before he starts to type.

_-You didn’t do anything wrong._

The answer comes immediately. Dominic must be hypnotizing his tablet.

_\- Then why did you run away?_

Sascha feels the tears running down his cheeks again. He doesn’t even bother to wipe them off.

_\- Domi, I’m a Taurus._

He falls back on the bed. What was he even thinking? The chance was one to eleven.

The tablet lights up. Sascha reaches for it.

_\- I still love you._

_\- You’re a Virgo. You have to marry a Gemini. I have to marry a Leo._

_\- Still love you._

Sascha actually laughs through tears. Dominic is stubborn like a Leo. Maybe this was what fooled him.

_\- I’m getting matched this year. And we can’t be together after the Meeting Ceremony._

_\- I’m getting matched too. And I still love you._

Sascha sighs. Roger was right, it’s impossible, and it’s nobody’s fault. It’s just what it is. But how can he just forget this happened? After all, who could ever forget their first kiss?

_\- Sascha, please, let’s not have this conversation over messages._

Here’s the practical, rational part of Virgo showing. Sascha puts the tablet down and covers his face with his hands. The tablet keeps lighting up.

_\- Please.  
_ _\- Talk to me.  
_ _\- Please.  
_ _\- Sascha_  
_\- I love you  
_ _\- You damn coward, if you want to send me to hell, at least say it to my face._

Sascha laughs at the last one, because it’s so out of character that he can’t help but imagine Dominic trying to word a message menacing enough to provoke a response from Sascha. He grabs the tablet again.

_\- Fine, I’ll say it to your face._

The response comes immediately.

_\- Good. The bus stop in twenty minutes._

Sascha blinks. He doesn’t know if he’s ready.

But he has to do it. If nothing else, he owes that to Dominic. He has to end it, but not like this.

He washes his face and walks down the stairs. Roger isn’t there. Sascha wonders if he went to Stan to complain. The clothes bag is hanging on the wardrobe now. Sascha doesn’t even feel curious.

He’s dragging his feet behind him too much, because when he finally gets to the bus stop, the bus is already leaving and Dominic is standing there, hugging himself.

Sascha walks up to him. Dominic doesn’t say anything, he just reaches up to Sascha’s neck and grabs his pendant. He holds it for a long time, like he wants to be sure. Or like he hopes that if he looks at it long enough, it will magically turn into a Gemini one.

“I knew it,” Dominic whispers. “I didn’t know what sign you were, but I knew you weren’t a Gemini.”

“Did you?” Sascha asks.

“You’re nothing like Gemini.”

Sascha sits on the bench. “Then why-“

“Because I love you.”

Sascha wipes off the tear that runs down his cheek. He thinks that he’s never cried as much as today.

“Stop it,” he whispers. “We can’t. We can’t be together. Or… we can now, but not after the Meeting Ceremony. And I… I don’t want it, if it’s not forever.”

“But I don’t want to give up on you,” Dominic says.

“But there’s nothing we can do,” Sascha says. “The stars align…”

“The way they see fit,” Dominic finishes. “I know.”

“Besides that…” Sascha says, shifting on the bench. “I have an arranged match already. My parents are going to kill me if… something goes wrong.”

Dominic looks at him and smiles sadly. “Can’t have that,” he says and sighs. “Fine. I’ll leave you alone. If that’s what you want.”

Sascha doesn’t say anything. He can’t say anything.

Dominic gets up from the bench. He stands there for a while, like he hopes that Sascha will say something. Or stop him. Then he places a kiss in Sascha’s hair and crosses the road to the other side, where the bus will take him back.

Sascha remains sitting on the bench. He should go home and forget about Dominic. He should try on the clothes for the Meeting Ceremony.

Instead of that, he thinks of the few seconds of complete happiness, of the three kisses, and he can’t imagine not getting another one, ever.

“Domi!” he calls and jumps up, running across the road.

There is a loud hooting sound, and a car passes by at high speed just behind him as he falls in Dominic’s arms.

“Why do you keep almost killing yourself?” Dominic asks, steadying him.

“I don’t know,” Sascha whispers. “Maybe because I love you.”

Dominic smiles and kisses him, and the pendant burns his skin a little less.

The bus arrives, stops and leaves, the driver just shaking his head exasperatedly at the pointless stop.


	3. Three

This year, the Meeting Ceremony is held by Leo. The signs take turns. The Ceremony is still the same, though, only the decor changes. Leo being in charge means it’s more pompous than ever. Leos are dramatic, theatrical… it’s what they taught Sascha, at least. Roger isn’t dramatic nor theatrical. Roger isn’t a typical Leo at all, if all the characteristics are true, and it scares Sascha. He might not be prepared for his match at all, if Stefanos is a typical Leo.

Sascha keeps looking around, almost like he’s hoping to see Dominic here. He knows it’s nonsense - Virgo’s Ceremony takes place in a different location. Only six of the signs are here tonight, three compatible couples - Taurus and Leo, Libra and Aries, and Capricorn and Scorpio. And even if Dominic was here, wouldn’t it be worse? To watch him get matched with someone else. To stand on the stage holding his match’s hand, knowing that Dominic is watching.

Sascha fumbles with his bowtie. Roger went for the truly classic outfit. He’s kind of grateful for it, because some of the sign parents tend to go overboard. Just as they were entering the hall, Sascha spotted a boy wearing a jacket with a golden lion embroidered on the back. He looked like he wished he could disappear, and Sascha couldn’t blame him.

The families are already waiting inside. Sascha spots his parents and brother waiting near one of the long tables with food.

“Look at you, kiddo!” Mischa comes beaming at him. “So elegant! When did you grow up this much?”

“Stop it!” Sascha rolls his eyes. “You sound like my grandfather.”

Mischa laughs and leans closer to whisper in his ear. “Everyone who doesn’t get you as their match tonight is going to cry.”

“Yeah, out of happiness,” Sascha sighs.

“Sascha,” his father says and grips his arm. “I want you to know that we would never arrange the match if we thought you’d be unhappy.”

“How do you know I won’t be unhappy, though?” Sascha asks.

His mother steps in, sensing trouble brewing between them. “He’s a nice boy, and his family are very nice people,” she says. “You’re going to get along well, you’ll see, sweetheart.”

One of the organizers of the ceremony frees him from the uncomfortable conversation.

“Taurus, Libra, and Capricorn, this way, please,” she says, gathering them around her like sheep. “Let’s do a quick run-down of the matching. When your name is read, you’ll walk up to the stage. Then your match’s name will be read, and they will join you on the stage. You will take each other’s hand and raise your joined hands… well, you’ve seen it many times, you know how it goes. Wait until everyone applauds you, then let go and walk down the stage, on your side. You’ll have plenty of time to get to know each other after the matching. Once it’s over, you’ll go to your tables… and it will be up to you.”

She smiles at them encouragingly, like it’s all roses and butterflies. Sascha doesn’t know which part is the worst. He glances over to the other side of the hall, where Leo, Aries and Scorpio are gathered around another woman, listening to the instructions. Stefanos is somewhere among them.

A middle-aged woman, a Community official, judging by her strict, grey suit, walks up to the microphone stand.

“Welcome to the Meeting Ceremony!” she says, and the hall falls silent. “We are happy to see the future of our Community here.”

The parents applaud, giving each other proud looks. It kind of looks ridiculous to Sascha, given that other people cared for their children for the last ten years or so.

“It’s also an honor to welcome the Head of the Community among us!”

The old man sitting at the long table with other Community officials raises his hand. Nobody knows the Head’s name. The society believes that the name isn’t important. Someone making laws and deciding other people’s lives shouldn’t be one of them. He should be nobody.

“Now comes the time for you to finally meet your matches,” the woman says. “I wish you all a good night, lovely memories, and remember - the stars align the way they see fit.”

Sascha sighs, earning a warning glance from Roger. Andrey is standing right next to Sascha, nervously chewing on the chain of his Libra pendant.

“Andrey!” Stan hisses. “Stop it!”

Andrey takes the pendant out of his mouth.

“He keeps doing this, I swear,” Stan sighs, looking at Roger. “I don’t know, where did I go wrong?”

Roger tells him something, but Sascha doesn’t hear it anymore because the announcer reads the first name.

“Nick Kyrgios.”

The Taurus boy standing in front of Sascha walks up the three steps that lead to the stage, and takes his place there. He doesn’t look nervous in the slightest. He sways on his feet back and forth, but he looks more impatient than anything else.

“Alexei Popyrin.”

A Leo boy walks up the stairs on the other side. He stops a step away from Nick and smiles at him. Nick returns the smile and offers the boy his hand. Alexei takes it and they raise them in the air. The hall applauds. The two slowly lower their hands and part ways again, both looking satisfied.

It looks ridiculously easy.

Sascha watches couples after couples form on the stage. Some smile at each other more spontaneously than others, some linger a bit longer. One of the Scorpio boys kisses the Capricorn’s hand before they part ways.

“Andrey Rublev.”

Andrey almost startles, and when Sascha glances at him, he realizes that he was keeping his eyes closed. He walks up to the stage, staring ahead, like he doesn’t want to get any clues until the very last moment.

“Denis Shapovalov.”

The Aries boy smiles like he’s just won the lottery. He walks up to Andrey and for a moment, they are just looking at each other like they are alone in the room.

For the first time, Sascha gets an awkward feeling. Like something is off. It may be because he doesn’t know any of the people he’s just watched get matched, but he knows Andrey. And this boy just somehow doesn’t fit him. He’s most likely younger than Andrey, blond, with blue eyes. But it’s his energy that is completely different from Andrey’s. Andrey is calm and composed, and Denis seems to be all over the place.

The boy smiles again and takes Andrey’s hand. Sascha applauds with the others, glancing at Stan, who is smiling somewhat proudly.

As soon as they walk down the stage, the other boy slides the chain of his pendant between his teeth, just like Andrey before.

“Look at him,” Stan sighs. “They were made for each other.”

Last match before it’s Sascha’s turn. The Scorpio and the Capricorn on the stage don’t look any less satisfied than the other couples, and when they return to their sign parents, both are smiling.

“Alexander Zverev.”

Sascha takes a deep breath and walks up to the stage. At the back of the hall, he can see his parents smiling. Suddenly, a voice in his head is starting to urge him to run away, and it takes all of his self-control not to listen to it.

“Stefanos Tsitsipas.”

He hopes that Stefanos is ugly. Just because it will make it easier to hate him.

A boy with long, wavy hair, walks up the stage. He is definitely not ugly. Sascha would bet that quite a lot of the boys envy him now. Well, Sascha would gladly hand Stefanos over to them if they asked.

Stefanos smiles at him, and it’s warm like the sun, except Sascha is trapped in a wall of ice. When he lowers his eyes, he sees that Stefanos is holding out his hand. He takes it and lets Stefanos raise their hands in the air. The applause is strangely muffled, and seems to be endless. He can’t wait to untangle his fingers from Stefanos’.

Finally, the hall falls silent again and they part ways. After them, three more couples are matched, and then the Community official walks up to the microphone stand again.

“Congratulations to all the new couples!” she says. “The Community is very proud of you all, and we can’t wait to see you here on your Wedding Day.”

Sascha’s head spins. This is the last thing he needed to hear tonight. He feels his mind cloud momentarily, and then someone’s arm wraps around his waist and pulls him away from the crowd.

The official is still talking when Andrey opens the window.

“Breathe, you fool,” he says.

Sascha leans over the wall and breathes in the fresh evening breeze. Andrey leaves his side for a moment and then hands him a glass of water.

“Drink this.”

Sascha obeys, gulping down the cold water that tastes faintly of mint and lemon. Andrey takes the glass from him and grabs his hand, pressing two fingers to his wrist.

“Am I dying?” Sascha whispers. “Please tell me I am dying.”

“Sorry,” Andrey says. “Not yet.”

There is applause again, and then the voices start to mingle. It sounds like a buzzing beehive.

“What’s wrong?” Roger asks with concern as he and Stan approach them.

“The air here is terrible,” Andrey says, glancing at Sascha pointedly.

“Yeah,” Sascha says. “The air.”

~ ~ ~

Sascha’s parents, Stefanos’ parents and their sign parents all sit at one of the larger tables. It’s hard to get to know each other while the parents are watching or listening, which is why there are small tables set out for the new couples.

Sascha took some food from the long tables, just because Andrey insisted he had to eat something, or else they would be picking him up off the floor. Not that it wasn’t Sascha’s dream, but he had promised Dominic he would keep himself safe for now. Until they’d figure out what to do.

_Dominic._

Somewhere in the other Community Center, Dominic already knows his match. Sascha feels sick just thinking about it.

“Roger said you studied filmography,” Sascha says. He hopes it will give Stefanos enough prompt to talk for an hour, so that he won’t have to.

“Yeah,” Stefanos smiles. “I’m interested in documentary. Nature, sights, interesting places… I just don’t know what exactly I want to focus on. I like directing, but then, I also like the technical side of it, like cutting. I’m doing a documentary for my final project now…”

Sascha’s attention span is too short to find out what Stefanos’ final project will be about. But he doesn’t care. At least there’s not silence like before.

He glances towards Andrey’s table. By no means is there awkward silence. Both boys are chatting and laughing.

“…and I think it’s really unfair that they expect us to do it all ourselves, no one is that good in everything, so one aspect or more are going to suck and ruin it,” Stefanos says.

“Yeah,” Sascha says, not having a clue what he’s agreeing with.

Stefanos’ face is, if nothing else, interesting. There is nothing special about his individual features; his eyes are a bit too small, his nose is slightly hooked, his forehead is a bit too large, although the hair framing his face kind of softens all the imperfections. But put together, they create a quite unique and pleasant composition. His voice kind of doesn’t fit him, and his laughter is annoying, but that’s about all the negative Sascha can say about him.

He wishes there was more.

“Your father and my father work together?” Sascha asks, just for the sake of keeping the conversation, and then it could be useful to find out.

“Yes,” Stefanos says and sips on the wine in his glass. “They had some common business, and your dad mentioned you were getting matched this year. They couldn’t believe it when they found out our signs were compatible.”

“And you?” Sascha asks.

“Me?”

“Yeah. I mean, if you were happy I would be your match.”

Stefanos smiles and nods. “Yes, I was.”

“But you’d never seen me before,” Sascha objects.

“No, but I cheated a bit,” Stefanos grins. “I saw your brother.”

Sascha nods and glances towards the table where their parents are talking.

“Shall we join them?” Stefanos asks.

Sascha nods. The less he will have to talk, the better.

~ ~ ~

It’s long after midnight when the families start leaving. Stefanos’ parents leave with Sascha’s parents, and Sascha would bet that they are going to continue celebrating until morning. At least Stefanos’ parents look like they like celebrations.

When Denis’ family leaves, Andrey rejoins Stan, who is standing a bit to the side with Roger. The blond boy suddenly turns back, runs back across the room and pushing past the group of chatting parents, kisses Andrey on the cheek.

Sascha thinks back to his awkward handshake with Stefanos, and knows that he’s doomed.

Stan turns to Roger. “We’ll get going,” he says. “It’s been a long night.”

Roger shakes his hand. Stan then looks at Andrey.

“Okay?” he asks.

Andrey nods and smiles when Stan wraps an arm around his shoulders.

“Yeah? Are you happy?”

This time, there is a second of hesitation before he nods.

~ ~ ~

When he closes the door of his room, Sascha rips off the suit and leaves it crumpled on the armchair, because he couldn’t care less. Then he plops down on the bed and stares at the ceiling.

His tablet lights up and he reaches for it. There’s a message from Dominic.

_\- How is your match?_

Sascha sighs.

_\- I’ve never met anyone more annoying._

Dominic sends a smiley face.

_\- How is yours?_

It takes some time before he gets the answer.

_\- I don’t even know. He’s nice, but… I think they fucked up. We don’t have anything in common. Except football._

_\- Welcome to my life. Stefanos is obsessed with making documentary movies. Probably about himself._

_\- You behaved, though?_

_\- I tried._

He throws the tablet on the bed and closes his eyes. He tries to imagine how perfect it would be if Dominic was his match.

Then he stops. It hurts too much.


	4. Four

Sascha only manages to open his macroeconomy book when there is a knock on the door.

“Yes?” he calls.

Roger walks in and looks around, like he wants to assess the state of the mess in Sascha’s room.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“I was just about to start pretending I was studying,” Sascha says. “Do you need anything?”

Roger sits on the bed and sighs. “Sascha… you do realize that it doesn’t end with the Meeting Ceremony, don’t you?”

Sascha frowns. “Obviously. Since there is also the Wedding Day.”

“There also has to be something in between,” Roger says. “You haven’t seen Stefanos since the Ceremony.”

“It’s been only a week,” Sascha whines.

“All of your friends have had their dates already.”

“I have a lot of school work.”

“They have school work too.”

Sascha sighs and closes the book. “Who is _all of my friends_? Andrey?”

Roger gives him an exasperated look. “Sascha.”

“I don’t feel like listening to another two hours of Stefanos describing his documentary movie,” Sascha says.

From Roger’s face, he knows that he’s got a point here. Stefanos wouldn’t shut up about it even when they joined their parents at the Meeting Ceremony. “Then talk about yourself. Or something else. Or don’t talk at all. Just spend some time together. Do something together.”

Sascha runs a hand through his hair. “Fine. Fine, I will.”

“Sascha. Just compliment him a few times, you know Leos like it,” Roger smiles.

“You don’t.”

“Well, if you compliment me on my cooking, I certainly feel better about it.”

Sascha nods and gets up, putting his tablet in his backpack, along with the book, although he doubts that he will even take it out.

“Where are you going?” Roger asks.

“To the park,” Sascha says. “I need some fresh air.”

~ ~ ~

He heads straight to the basketball court, because he knows that he will most likely find Andrey there. He throws the backpack on the ground and nods to Andrey, who is throwing the ball at the basket.

“You look like something’s chasing you,” Andrey notes.

“Yeah, Roger,” Sascha says. “He wants me to go on a date.”

“You didn’t like him, did you?” Andrey asks and sits down next to Sascha. “Stefanos.”

Sascha shakes his head. He figures that telling Andrey about Dominic wouldn’t be the best idea, but there’s nothing wrong with admitting that he didn’t like his match. It happens, after all.

“Roger keeps nagging me about him, so I will probably have to see him soon,” he sighs. “What about you and Denis?”

“He’s nice,” Andrey says. “He likes basketball, too.”

“But you can’t build a relationship on liking basketball!” Sascha objects.

“Of course not!” Andrey laughs. “It’s not just that. We like the same things. He’s studying to be a nurse. See, it all makes sense!” He bites on his lower lip. “And he’s also quite pretty, I think.”

Sascha wants to shake him and yell at him to stop lying to himself. But then, what if he’s not lying to himself? What if it _does_ make sense? What if all it takes is giving in and making some effort?

“Why do I feel like me and Stefanos have nothing in common?” he sighs. “I mean, he apparently likes football and basketball, but he didn’t even mention it. All he talked about was his school project… and me.”

“You?” Andrey laughs.

“Yeah. How happy he was to be my match, and how he knew he’d like me because he saw Mischa before… blah blah blah.”

“At least he is happy,” Andrey smiles. “That’s good.”

Sascha blinks. “Excuse me? What is good about it? I don’t like him!”

“Well, if none of you liked the other, it would be much worse. Like this, you can still work on it,” Andrey says. “Come on. Ask him out.”

Sascha groans. “Fine.”

“Ask him out _now._ ”

Sascha sighs and pulls out his tablet. The sooner he does it, the better, he figures, but when he opens the messages and clicks on Stefanos’ name, he has no idea what to write.

“What do I even write? Roger forced me to ask you on a date?” he whines.

Andrey rolls his eyes. “Just be nice. If you want to be on the safe side, meet him in the City. Plenty of places to go. And you can always tell him you need to go to the library or something, if he’s too annoying.”

Sascha groans, hypnotizing the screen. Stefanos’ profile picture is smiling at him like it’s mocking him.

“Stars in the sky, give that thing to me!” Andrey says and rips the tablet out of Sascha’s hand.

Before Sascha can stop him, he types a message and hits Send. A moment later, the tablet lights up again. Andrey smiles contentedly and hands it back to Sascha.

“Here,” he says. “You’ve got a date.”

~ ~ ~

The date with Stefanos coincides with the day he has to collect his test results at the university, so he figures that at least he will get rid of all the unpleasant tasks at once.

When he gets out of university, it’s already past the hour he’s agreed to meet Stefanos at one of the cafés in the City center. A part of him hopes that Stefanos will be gone by the time he arrives, but when he enters the café, Stefanos is there, working on his laptop. When he spots Sascha, he smiles and closes the laptop, putting it back in his bag.

“Hi,” he says.

“Sorry I’m late,” Sascha says. “I had to collect my test results, and they wanted to talk us through them.”

“That’s okay,” Stefanos smiles. “How did you do?”

“Average, as usual,” Sascha smirks and looks up at the waitress that comes to their table. “Have you ordered already?”

“No, I’ve been waiting for you,” he says. “You’ll have an americano?”

“Yes,” Sascha says and when the waitress walks away, he looks at Stefanos. “How do you know I like americano?”

“You wrote it to me,” Stefanos smiles.

_Oh_. Sascha actually blushes. He doesn’t have the heart to tell Stefanos that all of the nice messages he received were written by Andrey.

Stefanos reaches over the table and touches Sascha’s hand. Sascha freezes. He doesn’t want to act rude, he knows he wouldn’t hear the end of it if it got to Roger’s ears. He opts for not moving at all.

“Do you like this place?” Stefanos asks. “I mean, since you let me choose, I just went for where I usually go, but…”

Truth to be told, this place is exactly like Stefanos. If Stefanos was a café, this would be him. Fancy and a bit pretentious, but also cozy and warm.

“Yeah,” Sascha says. “It’s nice. Very… you.”

Stefanos laughs. “Is it?”

It’s quite clear that both of them are trying hard, maybe too hard. Stefanos doesn’t mention his school project at all, Sascha manages not to be bitchy. It just takes so much effort that Sascha feels he would be completely exhausted after a few months if he had to keep it up. Leave alone spending his entire life like this.

When they get up to leave, it feels like deliverance. With Dominic, words just flow, and even silence is comfortable. Here, it feels like walking on a mine field.

They turn into an alley to take a shortcut to a park. The station lies beyond the park, and Sascha can’t wait to get there. There is a small group of people gathered in front of one of the buildings, and armed guards all around them. When Sascha and Stefanos turn back, they can see that a guard is standing in the middle of the road they’ve just come down.

“Proceed,” he tells them.

Sascha gets that awful feeling that something is going to happen to him, although he knows that he’s done nothing wrong. He supposes it’s the natural way to feel in the company of the Community guards. Stefanos shifts closer to him, their sides brushing against each other.

“What’s going on here?” Sascha asks one of the bystanders.

“Sign treachery,” she whispers.

Sascha and Stefanos exchange worried glances. Adultery is a crime. But adultery with someone who is not one’s compatible sign is called sign treachery, and is a far more serious crime.

When they drag the accused out of the building, Sascha realizes that it literally couldn’t be worse.

Both are wearing identical Aquarius pendants.

The boy looks awfully young. He must be even younger than them. He looks like he’s scared out of his mind. When he sees the small crowd and the armed guards, he starts to cry, because it can only mean one thing.

The older man looks terrified as well, although there’s still some of his composure remaining, even though he is probably panicking inside. 

An officer in the dark blue uniform of the Community steps forward.

“These two men are to be judged for sign treachery,” he says. “Members of the jury, please raise your hands to swear in.”

Sascha turns around quickly, looking for an escape route, but there is none. The street is closed from both sides, armed officers guarding the assembly. There need to be ten people to form the jury, ten random people they simply stop on their way to work, or drag out of a shop, it doesn’t really matter. The guards gather them there and give them no choice. Stefanos elbows him in the ribs and Sascha raises his hand.

“Do you solemnly swear to give your verdict according to the evidence presented to you, and that you will not betray the Community that lays this duty upon you?”

The woman Sascha had talked to is the first in the line, and she swallows hard before answering. “I swear.”

The words sound like a broken record to Sascha. I swear. I swear.

“I swear.”

“Please, show your identification for the record,” the officer says.

He scans all of their identification cards. Sascha knows what it means. Somewhere in the archives, he will be forever signed under these men’s death sentence.

When it’s Sascha’s and Stefanos’ turn, Sascha notices how the guard’s gaze lingers on their pendants. He thanks the stars that it’s Stefanos with him, not Dominic. Or even Andrey. Who knows what the guards would think.

The guard puts the tablet back in its holder and walks back to the center of the demi-circle.

“These men committed the crime of sign treachery. Not only did they commit adultery, with one of them being married and the other matched, they committed adultery with the member of an incompatible sign. Even worse, they are both the same sign. As the matching laws say, your sign is a mirror to you, and you shall not fall in love with your own reflection.”

“No!” the older man shouts. “It’s my fault, it’s all my fault! Please, he’s just a boy, I… I made him do it, he didn’t know… he didn’t want it!”

The boy turns to him, like he can’t believe what he’s hearing.

“Jamie,” he says. “No. It’s not true. I love you.”

A middle-aged woman in the line lets out a sigh. “Stupid child,” she whispers.

The guard looks at them again. “Members of the jury, what is your verdict?”

The woman starts again. “Guilty.”

The chain continues. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty.

Stefanos’ lips shiver when it’s his turn. “Guilty,” he says.

Sascha looks at the pavement, his eyes fixing a stain on the concrete. He can’t look at the two men. He can’t look them in the eyes. “Guilty,” he says.

“You were found guilty of sign treachery,” the guard says. “For which the punishment is death. The sentence will be carried out immediately.”

It seems like it only now registers in the boy’s brain.

“Jamie,” he says and turns to the older man with wild terror in his eyes, reaching for him with his cuffed hands. “Jamie…”

The guards make the jury split and stand on the sides, for safety reasons.

“Alex…” Jamie whispers, trying to keep the boy from panicking.

One of the guards checks and readies his gun. Another makes a step towards the two men. In the eerie silence, even the sound of his shoes on the road is deafeningly loud.

The boy is now hyperventilating. “Jamie, I don’t want to…”

“It’s gonna be just a second,” Jamie whispers. “Just a second. I promise, darling. Just a second, don’t be afraid...”

The guard rips the boy away from his lover, he has to forcefully drag him away while another guard holds the older man back. The guard pushes the boy to his knees and steps away while another takes aim.

Stefanos quickly turns his head away and hides his face against Sascha’s chest.

Sascha stands through the two shots with closed eyes and a hand buried in Stefanos’ curls.

“Members of the jury, the Community thanks you for your service,” the officer then says. “You are now dismissed.”

~ ~ ~

When they get to the park, Sascha feels like sprinting away from the alley as fast as possible. It takes him a moment to realize Stefanos is no longer by his side, and he turns back.

Stefanos is crouching on the grass, covering his face with his hands, breathing heavily.

“Hold on,” he whispers. “Hold on…”

Sascha approaches him carefully.

“Stef?” he asks softly and lays a hand on his shoulder.

Stefanos sucks in a rattling breath.

“I… I wanna throw up, but I can’t…” he says. “I’m…”

“Come on, you’ll sit on the bench over there, and I’ll call someone to pick us up,” Sascha says.

He’s not used to these situations. Normally, it’s him the distressed one, and he doesn’t quite understand why he’s not affected by what’s just happened more. He should be. He shouldn’t feel so damn calm and detached.

He sits Stefanos on the nearest bench, then lets his tablet determine his location, and he sends the coordinates to Mischa.

_\- Mischa, can you come here?_

The answer comes in about half a minute.

_\- Sascha, are you in trouble?_

_\- I’m not in trouble. But I need you to come._

_\- Okay. I’ll be there in ten minutes._

Sascha hides the tablet and sits down next to Stefanos.

“My brother will pick us up and take you home,” he says.

Stefanos looks at him. “You didn’t have to…”

“Nonsense,” Sascha says. “You can’t go anywhere like this.”

Stefanos shuffles closer to him, and Sascha decides to just let it happen for once.

“This won’t happen to us, right?” Stefanos asks. “This can’t happen to us.”

“No,” Sascha says quietly. “It won’t happen to us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks @furiousflamewolf for giving me temporary custody of the Tragic Pairing TM, aka Jamie/Alex. I know I didn't treat them well, but I needed them for the story...


	5. Five

“Man, this boy,” Nick chuckles, putting down his tablet on which he’s been texting Alexei for the last twenty minutes. “He’s so into me. I don’t think we’ll be able to wait until the Wedding Day… if you know what I mean.”

Stefanos sighs. “Do you really just think about that one thing?”

Nick shrugs. “So what? I mean, he’s all over me all the time, why wait?” he says and looks at Stefanos. “Hey! What’s wrong with you?”

“Well, my match doesn’t seem to be into me at all,” Stefanos says. “We had one date. One. And he didn’t even want to hold my hand. Even if it didn’t end as badly as it did, it would still suck.”

Nick scratches his head. “Have you tried kissing?” he asks. “Might break the ice.”

“Nick, are you even listening to me?” Stefanos asks exasperatedly. “I’m telling you that we barely talk, and you want me to kiss him?”

“So what? You’ll kiss him sooner or later, better get him used to it for the Wedding Day,” Nick grins.

“That doesn’t solve anything!” Stefanos objects. Sometimes he really regrets that Nick is the only friend he has. He wouldn’t even call him a friend, if it didn’t mean having no friends at all.

“It might solve a lot of things,” Nick says. “Look. Boy might be just shy. Then it will solve everything. Or, he doesn’t like you. So at least you will know where you stand. And who knows, maybe you kiss like a god and will be able to change his mind.”

“I don’t think I have low self-esteem, but I know for a fact that I don’t kiss like a god,” Stefanos rolls his eyes. “I just… they never told us what to do if it’s like this! They just supposed we would all like our match and our match would like us back, and it works for you, it works for everyone I know, but it doesn’t work for me. If he doesn’t want to even kiss me now, then what do I do on the Wedding Day? Rape him?”

Nick groans and lies down on the bench. “I knew you would get philosophical sooner or later,” he says.

“I’m not philosophical, I’m just concerned.”

“But you’re concerned before anything’s ever happened! You had one date and you’re already thinking up catastrophic scenarios. Boy looked a bit hesitant to hold your hand once and you’re talking about rape here, stars in the sky! You think that everyone, absolutely everyone ever fell in love with their match at the Meeting Ceremony and lived happily ever after?”

“Well, it’s supposed to be that way, isn’t it?” Stefanos asks.

“It can’t be that way, man!” Nick yells and sits up to grab the front of Stefanos’ hoodie. “I know for a fact it’s not always like this. But it’s what it is, and they just suck it up. The whole point is that the marriage is supposed to work, it’s supposed to work for the good of the society. It’s not supposed to be a blast, nobody’s ever promised that. If it is, you’re lucky.” He lets go of Stefanos and gets up. “Sorry if I’m blunt, Stef, but maybe you’re just not the lucky one,” he says.

~ ~ ~

Dominic just gets off the phone with Rafa, who wanted to let him know he’d be late because of work, when his tablet buzzes on the table. The message is from Sascha.

_\- I need to see you. Now._

Dominic blinks. They’ve agreed on staying low for some time, especially after the incident on Sascha’s date with Stefanos. But this sounds urgent.

_\- Come to my place. I’m alone._

It’s most likely not the best idea, but it’s not against any rules as long as they don’t do anything against any rules, so he doesn’t care.

The doorbell rings barely twenty minutes later. Dominic opens the door and almost startles. Sascha looks… miserable. Not just distressed, he looks like he hasn’t been eating for days, and sleeping for years. He just falls in Dominic’s arms and holds onto him all the way to Dominic’s room.

“What happened?” Dominic asks, sitting him down on his bed.

“I hit him,” Sascha says.

“Who?”

“Stefanos,” Sascha says and looks up at him. “He kissed me and I hit him.”

Dominic blinks. He’s never met Stefanos, of course, he’s just seen his picture, same as Sascha has seen Karen’s. But based on the picture, Dominic would actually say Stefanos was a nice guy.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen now, but… if I never see you again…”

“Shh,” Dominic says and lays a finger on Sascha’s lips. “Don’t say that. Of course you will see me again.”

“I just realized that… whatever happens… I don’t… I don’t want him to be the first, you understand?” Sascha asks and bites on his lip. “I want it to be you.”

Dominic feels his heart skip a beat. “Okay,” he whispers and pulls Sascha close. Sascha is trembling. “If… if you are sure that you want it.”

“I’m sure.”

Dominic nods and kisses him before getting up. He locks the door, then walks over to the window and draws the curtains. It’s as much as he can do as precautions, and it reminds him that they are about to commit a capital offense. It definitely doesn’t make things easier.

He gets back on the bed. Sascha looks… lost. Not like Dominic knows what he’s doing, he feels so not ready, and he keeps thinking about how he imagined this situation differently - he thought it would happen just like that, with things heating up and feelings just escalating, and before they would know it, they’d be in bed… He definitely didn’t think it would be an agreement of some sort, and that he would be locking doors and drawing curtains, and that Sascha would be scared out of his mind because some prick tried to kiss him.

He gently pushes Sascha’s hair away from his face. He unzips his jacket then and slowly slides it off of Sascha’s shoulders. Sascha takes off his shirt and tucks himself under Dominic’s body and Dominic’s mouth goes dry. So _this_ is how it’s supposed to go.

“If… if you change your mind… at any moment… you tell me, okay?” Dominic whispers.

Sascha’s heart is racing, but he looks up at Dominic and shakes his head, hooking his fingers on the pendant around Dominic’s neck and pulling him down. “I won’t change my mind,” he whispers against Dominic’s lips. “Until the day I die.”

Dominic smiles and covers Sascha’s lips with his.

~ ~ ~

Sascha manages to sneak past Roger when he gets home. He curls up on the bed without switching on the light. He doesn’t know what will happen next, but he figures that the only thing he can do is just wait for it. The thought that he didn’t give up without a fight is a small solace. The stars can align any way they want, but they couldn’t keep him from giving himself to whom he wanted to.

When he wakes up from the drowse, there are loud voices coming from downstairs, and for a moment, Sascha thinks the guards have come for him. That they’ve somehow discovered what they did with Dominic, and it surprises him how calm he is about it. He used to think the people who committed sign treachery had to be completely mad. Now he thinks that they had a point. It was worth it.

Then he opens the door, and realizes that it’s possibly even worse. His father is yelling at Roger at the top of his lungs.

“We entrusted you with our son’s education!” he yells. “You were supposed to prepare him for the matching, and so far, it seems like he’s not prepared at all!”

Sascha can’t help but think that Roger was more of a parent to him than his own family. He took the parenting role seriously, unlike Stan, who did all the sign explaining just right, but apart from that, if Sascha ever asked him if Andrey was home, Stan had to go and check, and whenever Andrey was visiting Sascha, Roger made sure he fed him some homemade meal, because Stan’s idea of dinner was _here, boy, have some store-bought pizza_.

“Just give him some time!” Roger objects. “He’s trying!”

“He’s trying to do what exactly? Kill his match?” Sascha’s father shouts. Then he looks towards the staircase and sees Sasha standing there. “Alexander, pack your things,” he says. “You’re going home.”

“But… you can’t do that!” Roger objects. “I’m supposed to be taking care of him until the Wedding Day!”

“Mikhail is a Leo, too,” Sascha’s father snaps. “Let’s hope he can salvage at least something from this mess.”

~ ~ ~

Dominic almost startles when Rafa knocks on his door. It must be fairly late. He didn’t bother to uncover the windows after Sascha left. The darkness is somehow friendlier.

“Yes?” he calls.

Rafa opens the door and walks in. “I’m back,” he says. “Why are you sitting here in the dark?”

“I’m just… thinking,” Dominic says.

“About?” Rafa prompts him.

Dominic avoids his eyes. Somehow, he’s sure Rafa could tell then, could see the images flashing through his mind whenever he closes his eyes. Sascha’s parted lips, wide eyes, the way his body trembled in Dominic’s arms.

“Nothing,” he mumbles.

Rafa just raises his brows. “What about Karen?” he asks.

“I’m seeing him on Saturday,” Dominic says, trying to sound as casual as possible. “Why?”

“I’m just asking,” Rafa shrugs. “You don’t talk about him much.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t talk about me either,” Dominic says.

“Why is that?”

“I don’t know. It’s just how it is, how… we are. With Karen, it’s… when we talk, it’s not bad, I mean… we don’t have much in common, but it’s still nice, and I feel like we could be great friends, it’s just that… there’s no chemistry, you know what I mean? I don’t find him attractive… in _that_ sense… and I’m sure he’s feeling the same way.”

Rafa is listening to him intently. It’s not like there is some universal advice he could give him, but it helps to just let it out.

“You haven’t talked about it, though?” Rafa asks.

“No, I… I don’t know if we should,” Dominic shrugs. “I mean, it’s not going to change anything, probably. I just… I can’t say that I don’t like the friendship part, I just think that the other part is going to completely ruin it.”

Rafa nods thoughtfully. “This is sometimes the hardest part,” he says. “But talking about it is important. Otherwise, you can never get it to work.”

Dominic looks at him. “Why didn’t it work out for you?” he asks. “You never told me. You just said you were a sign parent because your matching didn’t work for you.”

Rafa sighs. “We were very different. In terms of… character and moral values, and expectations. It could never work, I’m afraid, no matter how many times we talked about it. Well, I wanted to talk about it, he… didn’t think it could change a thing. The authorities said it wasn’t my fault, and being a sign parent was… a consolation prize, I guess. Because I wanted a family, and I was denied it.”

Dominic frowns. “But… what exactly happened? Did he leave you or…”

“There’s no such thing as leaving,” Rafa says. “The marriage didn’t work, and I suspected he was cheating on me. I didn’t say anything, because… I could live with the knowledge I failed to make it work, but not with the knowledge I had someone killed.”

“But they eventually found out,” Dominic states.

“Yes,” Rafa says and gets up. “But that was me, and it was a long time ago. It won’t happen to you, I’m sure. You mustn’t let it happen to you.”

“I won’t,” Dominic assures him. “I won’t.”

~ ~ ~

Sascha sits on the bed in his old room, staring at the wall. He’s outgrown this room even more than he’s outgrown the park. Somehow, this feels like he’s being grounded for something. His father was furious, although he was more angry with Roger than with Sascha, like it was purely his sign parent’s fault. Sascha can’t imagine what would happen if his parents knew about Dominic if just Stefanos telling them Sascha had hit him caused this mess.

Mischa walks in and looks at him, apparently not happy about this role he was assigned by their father.

“Why did you hit him?” he asks.

Sascha stares ahead, hugging his knees.

“Sascha?”

Sascha looks at him and then returns to staring at an invisible point on the wall. Mischa was matched nearly three years ago, late for the standards. Their parents were ready to raise hell if the authorities wouldn’t match him, although they were explaining that they were simply waiting for the right match and that the stars aligned the way they saw fit. It took a very special alignment for them to match Mischa with Evgenia, but apparently it was worth the wait. But perhaps this was the reason why they took matters in their own hands with Sascha.

“So what game are we playing now?” Mischa asks.

“I don’t know,” Sascha shrugs. “I’m not playing any game. And I think you already know everything from Stefanos. He tried to kiss me, I slapped him. That’s it.”

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t want it!” Sascha says and looks at Mischa. “And I don’t want _him_.”

Mischa sighs and sits on the other side of the bed, almost like he’s afraid that he will be on the receiving end of another slap. “You don’t want him,” he repeats. “Meaning… you don’t like him?”

“No! We are completely different. We have absolutely nothing in common… when we’re together, we don’t even know what to talk about!”

“Well, Stefanos said that as long as you just texted, he said you seemed nice, it was…”

“I didn’t write those messages,” Sascha sighs. “Andrey did.”

“Andrey… was texting with Stefanos?” Mischa blinks.

“Yeah,” Sascha says. “Because I didn’t know what to write. He did much better than I would do.”

Maybe he did more than well. Sometimes, reading the messages, Sascha felt like he was falling in love with himself. He can’t blame Stefanos for thinking they were at a point where they could kiss.

Mischa rubs his eyes. “You know what they do to those who reject their match, right?” he asks. “They send them to the reformation clinics to be corrected.”

Sascha lifts his head and looks at him. “I tried…” he says. “But it doesn’t work.”

Mischa sighs and wraps his arms around him. It almost seems like he’s hurting more than Sascha, like he’s more afraid than him.

“They’d talk a hole through your head, drug you with who knows what, they’d do anything to break you, until you’d be an empty shell they could fill,” Mischa whispers. “Do you want that for yourself?”

Sascha shakes his head.

“Then try harder, because papa is determined to send you there if you keep doing this,” Mischa says.

“I will,” Sascha assures him. “I will.”


	6. Six

It’s Saturday, so the park is full of young people. For the first time in years, Sascha is enjoying his time there. It’s the first time his parents let him out of the house, and only because Mischa persuaded them that he needed some fresh air and time with friends.

When he comes to the basketball court, Andrey splits from the group sitting around the wooden tables under the trees and grabs Sascha by the elbow.

“Let’s talk,” he says.

“Denis is going to miss you,” Sascha says bitingly. “Doesn’t he always miss you when you leave his side for two seconds?”

Andrey gives Sascha an exasperated look. “Not when he has a microbiology test tomorrow,” he says. “He’s stressing out a little bit.”

Denis is sitting on the bench, books and notes splayed on the table, and he’s occasionally banging his head on the open book in front of him. _Stressing out a little bit_ is definitely an understatement.

“Everyone’s talking about you returning home from your sign parent,” Andrey says. “What the hell are you doing, Sascha?”

“Papa made me come home,” Sascha shrugs. “He thinks Roger didn’t do his job right, and that Mischa can save the situation now.”

“But what is the situation?”

“Stefanos tried to kiss me and I hit him, that’s about that.”

Andrey looks at him like Sascha is completely mad. “Why on Earth did you hit him?”

“Because I didn’t want to!”

“But you’re going to get married,” Andrey says. “He’s going to kiss you sooner or later, and not just that.”

“Yeah, in his dreams!” Sascha snaps and then gasps when Andrey pushes him so hard he hits the fence around the basketball court. “What-“

“You’re playing with fire, Sascha,” Andrey hisses.

Sascha narrows his eyes. “Maybe I have a good reason for it,” he says.

Andrey lets go of him immediately. “Stop!” he says. “Don’t tell me. Because if it’s something the law would require me to report you for, I prefer not to know. I don’t want to have to make that choice.”

In a way, he’s relieved that Andrey makes that decision for him. But then, he feels like the secret has been suffocating him. He desperately wants to tell someone, but there’s no one safe to tell.

“Andryusha, I don’t get it!” Denis whines, tearing them both out of the awkward situation.

“You don’t get what?” Andrey asks, sitting next to him and wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

Denis immediately scoots closer. “This scheme,” he says. “It’s literally just a bunch of lines between Latin words, it doesn’t make sense.”

“Of course it makes sense,” Andrey says calmly, grabbing one of Denis’ countless highlighters. Apparently, Denis lives by the motto “what is highlighted is learned”.

“No, it doesn’t,” Denis whines, tucking his head in Andrey’s chest. “I’m a dead man tomorrow, I swear.”

“Stop it and focus,” Andrey reprimands him gently.

Sascha watches them like he wants to learn something, too. He’s asking himself how hard it can be to make things work between him and Stefanos. When he looks at Andrey and Denis, it looks ridiculously easy. The difference is probably that Denis is much more in love with Andrey than Stefanos is with Sascha, and Andrey is trying way harder than Sascha is. And none of them is in love with another person.

~ ~ ~

“Are you sure that we can go here?” Dominic asks, completely out of breath.

They are standing on the roof of a skyscraper, having climbed countless stairs.

Karen laughs. “Well, I’ve been going here for years, and nobody’s arrested me yet,” he says. “There’s no better view than from here.”

The view is indeed spectacular, and in the warm, orange light of the late afternoon, the world looks somehow better. It looks friendly, it looks like it’s waiting down there for them to hold hands and be happy.

Dominic laughs and looks at Karen, sitting next to him on some metal vent. “You don’t strike me as a romantic person,” he says.

“I don’t?” Karen raises his brows. “I am. A hopeless romantic.”

Dominic feels his heart beat faster. This is the moment they should kiss. There will be no better moment, but none of them seems to be willing to make that move. And the seconds tick by and then the moment is gone.

Karen pushes himself away from him and looks at the panorama of the city. “You love someone else, right?” he asks.

“I…” Dominic takes a breath. “How do you know?”

“I could sense it,” Karen says and bites on his lip. “Maybe because… I’m in love with someone else as well.”

“Oh,” Dominic says.

It’s not really a surprise. It’s almost a relief. At least he will not hurt anyone’s feelings. At least he doesn’t have to feel guilty for not loving Karen.

“Daniil is… he didn’t grow up the way we did,” Karen says. “He grew up in an orphanage, and they didn’t really… groom them, if you know what I mean.”

Dominic blinks. “You mean… prepare them for the matching?”

“Yes,” Karen nods. “Daniil says the whole thing is nonsense. That the system is nonsense.”

Dominic nods slowly. “You think the same?”

“I… I used to believe in the system,” Karen says. “Before I met Daniil.”

Dominic nods again. “I fell in love just recently. A few weeks before the Matching Ceremony. But it’s already been a disaster. His parents arranged the match, and now they’ve taken him from his sign parent and I think they’re going to drag him to the Wedding Ceremony no matter what it takes,” he says. “And I don’t know what to do.”

“Me neither,” Karen says and looks at him. “But I think Daniil has an idea. And he would like to meet you.”

“Meet me?” Dominic blinks. “Wait a minute. The guy that’s in love with you, and you with him, wants to meet _me_?”

Karen laughs. “Yeah. He’s not going to kill you, I promise.”

Dominic doesn’t feel much reassured, but then he just shrugs. “Okay. I guess I have nothing to lose anymore.”

~ ~ ~

Andrey walks with Sascha to the bus stop. Given that Andrey is probably the only person his parents trust, because according to them, Stan has done his job properly, unlike Roger, telling them he’s with him gains him a few extra moments outside.

“I don’t know if my parents will let me out anytime soon,” Sascha sighs. “Papa keeps saying he wants me to come to my senses. Well, I don’t know what they want me to do.”

“Well, the first thing would be to show them that you’re trying,” Andrey says.

Sascha shrugs. “How?”

“Saying sorry to Stefanos and going on another date, that didn’t cross your mind?”

Sascha whines. “It’s going to end in another disaster! I don’t even know what to tell him anymore, or what to do anymore!”

“Go to the cinema!” Andrey spreads his arms. “Two hours of a date where you don’t have to speak! Even Denis has to shut up if we’re in a cinema. I love cinemas!”

“I thought you were happy,” Sascha objects.

“I am,” Andrey assures him a little bit too quickly, and then he looks at him somewhat guiltily. “But if I told you I didn’t consider stealing sedatives at the hospital and forcing them down his throat sometimes, I would be lying.”

Sascha laughs incredulously. “Andrey!”

“Promise me you’ll go on that date,” Andrey says.

“I will,” Sascha sighs. “And I’ll buy Stefanos popcorn. Maybe it will shut him up for longer.”

Andrey grins. “Seems like you’re getting it.”

~ ~ ~

Dominic is still not entirely sure that he wants to meet this Daniil as Karen leads him to one of the worse parts of the city. Not like he fears that they will murder him there, although it’s crossed his mind - after all, it would be the easiest solution. But he can imagine that it’s going to be awkward as hell. The only reason why he’s doing it is that Karen is convinced that Daniil has some kind of a plan, and Dominic is literally grasping at straws now.

“What sign is he?” he asks when they’re walking up a dirty, dark staircase.

“I don’t know,” Karen says. “And better don’t ask him, or he will punch you.”

He knocks on a door that has no name on it, and waits.

“Who is it?” sounds from behind the door.

“It’s me,” Karen calls. 

There’s the sound of a key in the lock, and a chain being unlatched, and Dominic wonders who the hell this Daniil is that he feels like his apartment has to be a damn fortress. Then the door opens.

Daniil is about Karen’s height and age, but that’s where the similarities end. Whatever is soft about Karen is harsh and sharp about Daniil.

“Daniil, this is Dominic,” Karen says. “My… um… match.”

Daniil hesitates a while before shaking Dominic’s hand. In all honesty, he looks like he wants to strangle him morethan anything else. Then he lets them in and locks the door again.

“Karen said you think the system is nonsense,” Dominic says.

“Yeah, it is bullshit. And the bullshittest bullshit is that nobody can see it,” Daniil says. “For fuck’s sake, how can there be only twelve types of people? You could as well match people based on eye color. Or why not according to the month of their birth? The size of their….”

“Dani!” Karen yells.

“Foot,” Daniil finishes.

“But it does work for some people!” Dominic objects.

“Yeah, some people were brainwashed better than the others.”

Dominic nods and thinks of what Rafa told him about his match. Maybe the people for who it works are not really compatible, they are just like Rafa - trying to make it work despite the differences. And statistically, the authorities do have to find a perfect couple from time to time, don’t they?

“Karen also said you had an idea,” Dominic says. “About how you two could be together.”

Daniil turns to Karen with a suspicious glance.

“Dominic is in love with someone else as well,” Karen explains.

“Okay…” Daniil says. “But let’s go outside. I wouldn't want to discuss it here.”

“Daniil thinks that the authorities have bugged his apartment,” Karen rolls his eyes. “And put cameras in his clock.”

“There was something weird in that clock!” Daniil growls.

“It was the battery, Daniil,” Karen says exasperatedly.

Daniil doesn’t look convinced. He ushers them out of the apartment and locks the door behind them. When they walk out in the street, he reaches under his shirt and pulls out a golden pendant. Dominic looks at it and blinks.

“Wait… are you a Virgo?” he asks.

Daniil glares at him. “No.”

Dominic gasps. “But… you can’t wear a fake pendant!”

“Why? Will my head fall off or what?” Daniil asks and takes Karen’s hand.

Dominic gives up. He’s got a feeling that this is not going to end well by any means.

**Author's Note:**

> The matching is loosely based on the trilogy Matched by Ally Condie (I recommend the first book, kind of. The rest wasn't that great.) and The Book of Ivy by Amy Engel (which was very annoying, but kind of enjoyable at the same time).


End file.
